Spring Cleaning In The Parking Lots: Out With The Seniors, In With The Juniors

Beginning this spring, one of the three parking lots originally designated for senior drivers will be given to the juniors. After multiple complaints from nearby neighbors on the surrounding local roads (Ralph and Benjamin), the high school has decided out of respect for these community members to allow juniors parking spots in the second lot.

Truth be told, juniors are still learning the ropes to driving, let alone parking. Being forced to complete parking maneuvers like three-point turns and parallel parking on the side streets is simply just asking for problems. Offering a safe and precise parking space for juniors, all the while located in a close vicinity to the school is surely the first step towards accident prevention. According to a resident on the corner of Alvin Court and Ralph Avenue,  “there’s nothing like waking up to loud bass music, unnecessary horn-honking, and the rear end of a parked car blocking my driveway.” In order to prevent further infuriation, the notion to relocate some (of the many) junior drivers is the most practical solution. This also would make the job easier for traffic cops who have become a little too tired of ticketing illegal parking by now.  

There are more junior drivers this year alone then the amount of junior drivers last year and the year before combined. It’s only fair to give the juniors more space for their shiny BMWs and Bentleys. Plus, offering a space closer to the school building will save these soon-to-be seniors the cold trip to and from their cars that are usually parked such a remarkable distance from the school. They’ve had to suffer walking outside for more than three minutes in any kind of weather believe it or not.

Twelfth graders have claimed their seniority gives them automatic first dibs in all three lots, however their time is coming to an end and as the famous saying goes “sharing is caring.” Besides, seniors have the luxury of the first lot (as long as they arrive no later than 7:00AM) and the third lot is extremely roomy and not at all prone to accidents/fender-benders.  

Despite staunch protest from seniors reluctant to give up one of the most precious lots that ever existed, it’s time the school made an initiative to include the juniors who are far too often excluded from senior treatment/life. Perhaps the next upgrade is to invite all juniors to sit alongside the seniors on the cafeteria steps in the morning.

April 1st edition.

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