You Might be an OHS English Teacher If…


You Might Be An OHS English Teacher If…

  • You’re the best dressed out of all departments
  • You wear eight scarves at minimum
  • You most likely have a cup of organic, fair trade coffee in hand
  • You have a designated coffee cup that you and only you are allowed to drink from
  • You’re always down to have philosophical conversations
  • You might be a yoga instructor
  • You have to ask students to do any form of math for you
  • You’re the only faculty members reading the Sider Press
  • You’re cliquey (English Department or die)
  • You have good taste in music
  • You probably have laminated book quotes plastered on the walls of your classrooms (and possibly in your bedrooms at home)
  • You relate more to characters in books than you do to people in real life
  • You’re a little too active on Twitter
  • Most of your twitter followers are your students
  • The red table isn’t “just” a red table
  • You have a pair of flats in every color
  • Sparknotes is your nemesis
  • Shmoop is a runner up
  • You have an ongoing feud with the math department
  • You’re tired of students asking if the author really intended for that to be a metaphor
  • You teach standing behind a podium
  • You own at least 47 sweaters
  • Your hair is always perfectly done
  • You also might have a nontraditional hair color
  • You’re literate
  • You refer to your students as anything but students
  • Your joke-telling timing is just never quite right
  • You’re tight with Marianne
  • You’re easily irritated by the heat
  • You usually quote at least three cheesey book references a year that no one in the class gets
  • You’ve never read a text without marking it up
  • Red pen ink runs through your veins
  • Common core makes you nauseous
  • Todd Kaminsky is your homie
  • The book is always better than the movie
  • You listen to Mumford & Sons
  • You’re a fan of The Cave purely because of the references to The Odyssey
  • You come to school really early and listen to classical music whilst reading the newspaper
  • You have a strong pro/anti kindle stance
  • The AP test doesn’t get mentioned in class until May 1st
  • Socratic seminars and Ted talks make appearances in your classes often

2 Comments on "You Might be an OHS English Teacher If…"

  1. These are hysterical!!

  2. Renee Lochridge | September 28, 2016 at 10:05 AM |

    LOL! Feel free to forward a little organic fair trade coffee this way 😉

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